WHY I HATE METRO POLICE

Im convinced Durban is the safest city in the world. Cos our cops have fuck all else to do other than dish out parking tickets. I mean, Im sure theres no murders or robberies happening that our cops should attend to hey. Expired parking meters are probably the greatest threat to security in this country. You've probably gathered by now that I've been disobeying traffic laws lately and trying to divert the focus away from me and blame the cops. Well, thats exactly what I'm doing. A bored traffic cop gave me a ticket for an expired meter. The meter had expired at 11:30am, my ticket was marked 11:32am. Two minutes! I always have my say to traffic cops. I asked him if things were really quiet in town, if all criminals had suddenly decided not to rob and kill anymore. I recall asking a traffic cop once why Metro police are given guns, that he should use that holster space for extra ticket books cos thats all they fucken do, give tickets. Anyway, ive vented. thats all for tonight

CRICKET AND CHICKEN FUCKEN TIKKA

Whenever those Vaalie bastards come down to play us in cricket it always evokes a deep sense of nostalgia in me. Reminds me of those old Natal and Transvaal Benson and Hedges matches under hot summer nights, fans enjoying boerewors watching moustached superheroes like Clive Rice and Jimmy Cook doing magnificantly heroic biblically epic things on the cricket field. Things have changed just a little bit nowadays. The rivalries are still there. Drunk tamils and dutchman fuck it up regularly, but this time their heroes are dreadlocked black dudes and beareded slumous from Tongaat and we watch the action eating chicken fucken tikka instead of wors rolls. Wednesday's game was epic. It was pure sporting drama with a familiar warm South African feel. And yes, I know, the joburg boys won. Dont remind me!

TWO GOOD MOVIES IN A WEEK

CLERKS II continues a phenomenal run of comedies to hit our shores since Taledega Nights and Borat surprised us last year. The film deals with the challenges that arise for three long time friends at a take out food outlet when one of them decides to leave and get married. The film is scripted by Kevin Smith, the crazy SOB who brought the world Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob. Expect the usual absurdities and shockingly foul-mouthed exchanges associated with Smith's work but that doesn't take anything away from the comic genius on offer. If you're in the serious mood you can take a peek at Babel, the oscar-nominated drama that intertwined three stories on three continents dealing with commonalities of humanity. Babes will wanna see this one for Brad Pitt who is competent as always, but there's a whole lot more to this picture than just that. Its a truly involving experience that will keep you watching. I had to laugh during just one of the serious moments in the film when my video games guru buddy MJ gave his critique of Morocco ten minutes through the film. Commenting on the images presented of the rural village where one of the stories unfolds, MJ said, "shit life they have hey, no playstation!"
On another movie note, well done to Scorsese and The Departed. After seeing all the best picture nominated films I am convinced that the academy made the right call. Word up to them.


"The greatest tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between right and right"
-George Hegel

THE PURSUIT OF HAPP(Y)NESS

I think its been a while since i've seen a performance as honest and believable as Will Smith's in The Pursuit of Happyness. It is a performance stripped of all bling and glamour, a performance that arouses the humanity in you and gets you thinking about your priorities in life. The film is the simple story of a man struggling to make a life for himself and his five year old son. WIll Smith plays the everyman, the everyday hero. There is no grand prize or pot of gold at the end of this one, its about survival and the film is a tribute to every man and woman who gets up every morning to take on the world with the odds stacked against him or her but still somehow finds the will power to prevail. For many of us who come from a world of privelage this is a wake up call and a pointer to gratitude.

WHY ROCKY VI IS IMPORTANT

Besides the nostalgia associated with the series chronicling the life and times of the quietessential comeback kid, the sixth and final episode is a testament to a real comeback story, that of Slyvestor 'Sly' Stallone. Stallone is iconic and hails from an era of larger than life action heroes like Ah-nold and Bruce Willis, an era long gone. Stallone comes back one more time to close the final chapter on this era. That's right, the era of the action hero has sadly come to an end and I can't think of a way more fitting to close this era than by giving Rocky Balboa one more outing. Talking about eras, comebacks and forgotten icons, it was really special to see Lionel Richie perform an old favourite 'Hello' at the Grammys last night. I felt almost drowned in nostalgia by the performance of such a timeless piece. sigh. it reminded me of the first time I heard Michael Buble sing. I guess Im just a sucker for the classics!

WATCH APOCALYPTO, DONT WATCH DOA

The title of this blog provides somewhat of a contrast in mentioning the best and worst movies of the year so far in one breathe. Dead or alive, a video game adaptation, is shite and i dont wana say anymore about it because then I'm gonna start fucking swearing and cursing MJ who forced me to watch it. Apocalypto on the other hand is a masterpiece by Mel Gibson, and no its not a fantasy about Jews being wiped off the planet, its about the decadence of the Mayan tribes of Mexico and the beginnings of their demise prior to the arrival of the Spanish. Its a wonderfully filmed, though provoking piece that asks questions about humanity. In one scene whilst pursued by tribesmen out to kill him, the chief protaganist stumbles across a mass grave of an entire village wiped out by fellow Mayans. The image brought back memories of Srebrenica and Ruwanda and made me wonder, we call the precolonial tribes of Africa and Latin America savage and uncivilized but how are we any less savage? Over 100 000 babies died in Iraq between 1991 and 1998 due to US led peace time sanctions. Today at a time of war only God knows what the number is. The Apocalypse is near

AT THE MOVIES

Have been at the movies regularly lately especially with oscar season looming. The Departed, Blood Diamond and Dreamgirls (Eddie Murphy astoundingly good) are all pretty good but the more interesting films ive seen lately are non-oscar contenders. I happened to see Saw 3 the other day and chuckled to Mjad about what the Jigsaw would do to punnish him for all the girls he's led on;) bit of an insider's joke...hahaha. Jackass 2 is good mindless fun and ranks right up there with the 3 biggest comedies of last year, Taladega Nights, Borat and Tenacious D which is a masterpiece!